Monday, February 23, 2009

Monday Morning Music

Okay, first please go to the end of my blog and hit the pause button on my music player. THANKS!!!!!!!

Now this past Thursday, February, 18, 2008, marks the second anniversary of my Moms' death. That we lost her to Alzheimers. Although the Doctors gave it the fancy name of "Muti-Infacted Dementia." To us it still was the same as Alzheimers. She fought it for 7 years. Believe me when I say it sure was not an easy thing watching my Mom go through it. Nor was it easy on the family. More so my older sister Brenda. She was the primary caregiver. That Lord bless her heart, Brenda always seems to be the one who takes care of us all when we get sick, hurt, or whatever. She just has such much love inside of her that she just can not help but take care of us all. So I know she has a special place in heaven when it is her time to go.

Anyway, back to this video. The first time I heard it, I just cried my eyes out.... That to me it was like the good Lord was trying to tell me something. Or show me something, seeing how I was raised on a farm/ranch! Not sure what, but I just felt like it was a sign of something to come. Or maybe about something I needed to do! See I kept hearing this song every time I cut on the radio. Plus seeing the video when I would trun on the TV! Well, you see it hit me like a ton of brick what the message was from it!

That this past Thursday, as I was wondering through the house doing some housework, I just all of a sudden just started crying. And for no reason. Or so I thought! Then as I went to get some tissues I noticed the date on the calender. Well it hit me, that the date was 2 years since I lost my Mom! Let me tell you it sure has not been an easy two years. We not only lost my Mom then. But also my cousin, within a month of her, as well as my brother-in-law, within 5 months of her passing. Then I was put into the hospital that August with kidney stones and Gallbladder trouble! Yes, it sure was not a good year! But somehow I made it through. As did the rest of my family along side of me. But this video got me to thinking that I never really grieved my Moms' death untill this past Thursday! And that for me is really sad.

So I guess the breakdown of it all is this. That when I started crying Thursday, it all just came gushing out of me. The anger, the "WHY," and everything else. That I know now why this song kept playing over and over again! It was doing so because I needed to let go of everything. Cause my Mom, use to tell me that "When you fall down, you simply get back up, and go at it again!" And Lord knows she was right!

So please enjoy the video, get your tissues out and know that I am alright now! Plus it is a beautiful sunshiny day here in North Carolina.


Lynn@ The Vintage Nest said...

Hi Nana Net, Cry all you want. It's your party and you cry if you want to. I think I understand what you went through. I received an email yesterday that just caused me to burst into tears. I dried my eyes, went upstairs to tell my husband about it and burst into tears again. You was about my Dad and a dream my sister had. My dad died in 1985 and I still miss him so much my heart aches sometimes. Oh dear...I am about to cry again. :) Enough of that. I have a long and fruitful (I hope) week a head of me.

Thank you so much for your compliments on my newsletter. I worked so long and hard on it. I still didn't quite get it right but eventually I will figure it out. I entered your name in the Queen for a Day contest. If you are serious about the pillowcase dress in a size 12 months, I can make one for you. I can sent you a photo of the cases I have available right now. Just let me know. My email address is over there >>>> on the side bar.

Have a super great week NanaNet! xo Lynn

Lynn@ The Vintage Nest said...

P.S. I forgot to tell you how much I love your green Shamrock background. Long before blogging and my website I used to play Pogo all the time.

Nana Net said...

Thank you so much Lynn. I truly appreciate all of your comments. And your wonderful friendship here and abroad!

Suldog said...

Very very tough disease. None are good, of course, but that one...

God bless you.

Jeanne said...

We have had our share of pain, huh? I love you and I'm glad you feel like you've gotten to grieve MawMaw! You take care of your crazy self....and thanks for the new addiction....word whomp. I can't stop playing it on your page! :)

HektikLyfe said...

I'm really sorry about your loss. My wife recently lost her mother so I was there to witness her going through all the pain.

Its strange to me that she is always the one I turn to when I go through my difficult times when she has been through so much worse.

Let your loved ones guide you back.

Dawnie said...

I'm sorry for your grieving. sometimes when so much sadness happens we dont realize until much later that we truly didnt grieve like we need to. then the floodgates open. I'm just so glad for you that you had a good means so much. This song is very touching.

Anne said...

That video was very touching. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Oh you probably will continue to grieve about your Mom for awhile. Give yourself all the time you need because it's a process one has to go through. We all will have to experience a loved one passing away. So don't feel alone. {{{hugs}}}.