Okay, first please go to the end of my blog and hit the pause button on my music player. THANKS!!!!!!!
Now this past Thursday, February, 18, 2008, marks the second anniversary of my Moms' death. That we lost her to Alzheimers. Although the Doctors gave it the fancy name of "Muti-Infacted Dementia." To us it still was the same as Alzheimers. She fought it for 7 years. Believe me when I say it sure was not an easy thing watching my Mom go through it. Nor was it easy on the family. More so my older sister Brenda. She was the primary caregiver. That Lord bless her heart, Brenda always seems to be the one who takes care of us all when we get sick, hurt, or whatever. She just has such much love inside of her that she just can not help but take care of us all. So I know she has a special place in heaven when it is her time to go.
Anyway, back to this video. The first time I heard it, I just cried my eyes out.... That to me it was like the good Lord was trying to tell me something. Or show me something, seeing how I was raised on a farm/ranch! Not sure what, but I just felt like it was a sign of something to come. Or maybe about something I needed to do! See I kept hearing this song every time I cut on the radio. Plus seeing the video when I would trun on the TV! Well, you see it hit me like a ton of brick what the message was from it!
That this past Thursday, as I was wondering through the house doing some housework, I just all of a sudden just started crying. And for no reason. Or so I thought! Then as I went to get some tissues I noticed the date on the calender. Well it hit me, that the date was 2 years since I lost my Mom! Let me tell you it sure has not been an easy two years. We not only lost my Mom then. But also my cousin, within a month of her, as well as my brother-in-law, within 5 months of her passing. Then I was put into the hospital that August with kidney stones and Gallbladder trouble! Yes, it sure was not a good year! But somehow I made it through. As did the rest of my family along side of me. But this video got me to thinking that I never really grieved my Moms' death untill this past Thursday! And that for me is really sad.
So I guess the breakdown of it all is this. That when I started crying Thursday, it all just came gushing out of me. The anger, the "WHY," and everything else. That I know now why this song kept playing over and over again! It was doing so because I needed to let go of everything. Cause my Mom, use to tell me that "When you fall down, you simply get back up, and go at it again!" And Lord knows she was right!
So please enjoy the video, get your tissues out and know that I am alright now! Plus it is a beautiful sunshiny day here in North Carolina.